I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
