butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
