Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Found your dick twin last night
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
