Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize