Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
