Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
