He uses pillows to masturbate.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My dick has a subreddit
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
