It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
