Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
