Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
