Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
