whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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