im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
We smell like vodka and hangover
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