So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Mom said you looked used
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
