i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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