I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
