I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
