dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
