We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
