So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
