Whod you bang
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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