then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
