do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
