Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We're too hungover to prance.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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