Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
