I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just want to make out with him forever
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
