Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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