we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
