dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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