sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
