Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I will pee on everything he values.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
