Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
