weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
