Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
