matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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