Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
