how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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