I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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