I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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