I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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