I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
