im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize