we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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