I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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