thus making me awesome and them whores
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize