Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
