Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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