ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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