I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
