No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
