hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
