I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
