I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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