you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
