she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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