rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
