you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
