i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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