Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
did you just send me my own nude
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
