Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
