I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
