clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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