Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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