I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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