Sry I called you an 8
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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