I think scott just propositioned me for sex
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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