Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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