just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
