i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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