If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
