she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize