its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
